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Here's some things an old cowboy who was raised by a Cherokee Indian taught me:
Horses are always quietly talking to you with their body, and horses don't lie.
It's very subtle, but if you are very patient and watch closely,
what they are saying to you will come to you like a whisper.


Effective trainers understand how horses perceive their world, what motivates them and how they learn. Understanding how a horse thinks makes training safer and more effective.

Understanding horses takes time, patience, and guidance to show you what signs to look for.
Here are a few easy things to start you off.

When a horse is standing, he is talking to you.

A horse that is standing with his mouth closed, poll below withers, his front legs directly parallel or "square" and tail held still ... that horse is perfectly relaxed.

When someone that a horse does not know approaches it, you will notice that its head will come up over the withers. The horse may move its feet apart slightly and its tail may swish slightly. In fact, this is what the horse was doing here when he noticed the camera. This horse was asking itself "stay or run?". This horse knew me, but was trying to determine if the camera was a threat, and getting ready to RUN if it needed to. A horse goes through this thought process pretty much every time someone or something strange approaches it, until it knows what to expect.

When a horse is licking & chewing, he is talking to you.

When you are working with a horse in the cross-ties, if he is unafraid he will have his head nearly parallel to his withers. If he is actually enjoying what you are doing or comfortable with it and feels toally safe he will be moving his mouth, licking his lips and making a chewing motion.

If the horse STOPS licking & chewing, he is telling you that he is suspicious of what you are doing. This is a horse that is asking himself if he should be ready to RUN from you or STRIKE you. Using clippers or when a farrier or Vet is working wih the horse for example, you will notice that the horse will hold his lips still. The horse is talking to you as asking you for reassurance to know that it does not need to be afraid. If you miss this request from the horse and do not tell the horse that it does not need to be afraid, the slightest sound or touch can cause it to hurt itself even to the point of breaking its own neck by pulling away from the ties violently or maybe hurt you or others with a series of kicks.

You can talk to the horse in his own language and let him know that YOU are comfortable with what is going on and that everything is ok by standing at his side in plain view and looking at the groud in front of him ( not looking at the horse ) and taking a deep breath through your nose ( not your mouth ) and letting it go and totally relaxing your body while you exhale and then start licking your lips and making a chewing motion with your mouth. Repeat the deep breath and exhale and relax every 30 seconds as you continue to make obvious licking and chewing motions.

It also helps to make your eyes look "sleepy" or half closed as if you are truly relaxed. Horses are very sensitive to your body language. Virtually all horse to horse conversations occur with very subtle body changes and they read your subtle actions as LOUD AND CLEAR MESSAGES.

It may take a few mintues of this, but you will put the horse at ease by showing the horse in this way that YOU are relaxed. When you do this, you are TALKING to him in the horse's own language. When he bgins to lick and chew for about 15 seconds you can then slowly resume the activity that made him stop licking and chewing. TRY IT !

When a horse puts his nose up to your face, he is talking to you.

A horse finds comfort and safety within a herd. The alpha horse, or leader, is the one that makes the decisions (time to go for water, shelter, or to rest) the subordinates trust and follow. The alpha animal is often an older horse that is more dominant and has earned respect within the herd/group by sheer physcial dominance. Essentially, the alpha horse is the one the others submit to, stay out of the way of, and never, ever invade the space of, as they know they will be bitten, kicked or driven away from the herd.

Alpha horses confirm their dominance by moving their subordinates into retreat with a threatening gesture. No one has permission to step into their personal space uninvited. After retreating, the subordinate will open his mouth until the alpha stops the threatening posture. This is why a horse who "accepts the bit" keeps his mouth open and foams-up ...the bit is contantly there.

After such cummunication, the alpha/dominant horses will often make it a point to put their nostril to the submissive horse's nostril and blow warm air into it. This is a gentle reminder of the dominance over that horse. After horses have run from danger in the wild, to show submissives they can "calm down" the dominant horses will go to the submissive horses and put a nostril to their nostril. They will then "blow" warm air into the nose of the other horse. This stimulates an instictive reaction in the other horse that reduces the amount of adrenaline in the blood because they feel SAFE when the more dominant horse tells them there everything is ok. The horse that the alpha chooses first is usually a horse near the top of the order, a BETA horse. The beta horses will then go to the more submissive horses and do the same. If your horses ever get spooked, watch for this communication. You will see them demonstrate their ranks in the pecking order to you right before your eyes.

When you allow your horse to begin this communication, you tell him that he is dominant. Do not allow this. Gently push his face away. However, you should return to his nose later and begin the communication, yourself. You may also notice this tendency in young children, mostly boys. When upset, they will often "blow" on the parent or babysitter. It is agressive behavior. If they get away with it, they are "The Boss" and if left unreciprocated will manifest in a total loss of control over the child as the child "knows" he is the domineer.
This is a natural human instinct that we share with horses, but civilized society has rendered it obsolete.

Do this regularly with your horse to enforce your dominance. Then when he is upset or "blowing" in excitement, IF YOU KNOW THE HORSE WON'T HURT YOU, you can gently blow warm air into its nostril to calm him down. WARNING: Approaching a scared, excited horse can get you killed.

When a horse holds its poll above his withers, he is talking to you.

The horse brain is structured differently than the human brain, which might explain some of the frustration people encounter when they try to use human logic in training. The horse has a far smaller ratio of brain size to body size than humans do. Much of the human's comparatively large brain is dedicated to the cerebrum, which processes thought and controls memory, communication and association. The horse's brain, however, is largely cerebellum, the part that is responsible for gross muscle coordination, balance and body functions, and considered to be involved in PRIMAL SURVIVAL INSTINCTS.

The horse at left is alert and suspicious of everything in his environment. This is instictive. This suspicion has allowed horses to survive for all these years. The head is high so that he can see to the the horizon for approaching danger and also to keep the head and neck out of reach of a predator.




This is exactly what is on a horse's mind when he is scared. His walnut-sized brain is not smart enough to examine each situation that may be a threat. He is programmed to act as if every single possible threat may result in the above. Just like your brain is programmed to make you move your hand quickly off a hot stove to keep it from getting burned ... the horse CANNOT CONTROL his reaction when he is scared any more than you could choose to keep your hand on a hot stove. Knowing this will help you to understand your horse's reactions to everyday things.

Horses are really very scared animals. They have eyes on the SIDE of their head like all other prey animals to help them spot approaching predator animals which have eyes on the FRONT of their head and CANINE teeth or "fangs" to kill prey. All predator animlas EAT prey animals. All predator animals have eyes in front of their head. This allows them binocular vision to focus on the "target" with very good depth preception so they know when to POUNCE ON their prey. All predators instinctively want to move directly to the object they want.

However, Prey animals instinctively move on an indirect path to the object.

A bunny rabbit is a prey animal and thinks like a horse. They hop right, then left. They never go directly to their target. Even when running away, they will not run straight, their path will curve.

With eyes on the side of their head, prey animals cannot see directly in front of them, so they can only see what is at right or at left. This is why they walk to the left for a bit, then walk to the right for a bit when going from point A to point B. This is how all prey animals move. Prey animals such as horses also do not have depth perception. They are not very good a judging how far away their destination is, nor how far away a possible threat is. So they rely heavily on detecting motion and the direction that the possible threat is moving. If they see another animal moving left then moving right, they feel less threatened, as they detect the other animal as a prey animal like themselves, rather than a predator who will ALWAYS MOVE IN A STRAIGHT LINE to them.



Look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are on the front of your head. And if you open your mouth you will see pointy teeth on each side of your mouth. You have evolved from predatory ancestors and you STILL THINK like them instinctively. If you want to pat your horse ... you walk directly to your horse. This is a problem for the horse because your actions speak louder than words to prey animals. Walking directly to them makes them instictively uneasy about you. Watch for a horse's tail to swish the next time you walk directly to the horse.

Again. the horse's brain is structured differently than the human brain, which might explain some of the frustration people encounter when they try to use human logic in training. Many old cowboys will tell you that horses, like cows, may suddenly spook at an object that she's passed by multiple times going in one direction, but when travelling by it going the other way, totally freaks-out.

The human brain allows us to identify an object on ONE side of us and then understand that it is the same object if we reorient ourselves. Example. A fence to my right that I know won't hurt me is the same fence if I turn my left side to it.

Horse brains do not work that way. The horse brain's job is FIRST to recognize a PREDATORY THREAT. Anything that is not determined as a NON-THREAT is considered a POSSIBLE THREAT. And unfortunately a horse's eyes and brains do not work together to reorient mirror-image objects in memory. To the horse, it is a different object. And passing it on ONE SIDE may not reveal certain shadows or contours that the horse may perceive as a THREAT when passing it on the other.

Horses are very simple creatures, programmed to recognize certain shapes and movements as PREDATORS.

Common house and horse flies also have this pre-progeamming of shapes to be avoided. A fly will NEVER go close to a wasp's nest because it is programmed to avoid a circular shape that is hanging from a support. Proof of this is found when you blow up a paper bag and mount it to a window. No fly will come NEAR that window, as it recognizes the shape as that of a nest of wasps. Flies know wasps are territorial and will sting them to death. ( So if you want to stop flies from coming through and open door or window, blow up a small brown paper bag and tack it to the upper sill of the door or window.)

Regardless of the exact cause for an object causing a spook when seen from one side and not the other, it is important to remember that the horse processes the visual information as a NEW OBJECT and may not be capable of understanding the reorientation like you do. So be patient.

Also in the human brain, there is a mass of neural fibres that connect and communicate between the two hemispheres of the brain. There are relatively few of these connective fibres in the horse brain, which suggests less transfer of information from one side to the other. So it should come as no surprize that when a horse has mastered moves to the right, moves to the left seems to be a completely new skill that need to be learned from scratch. He cannot associate what you want on the left just because the same cues on the other side, to you, should indicate mirroring the move. The horse's brain is simply NOT CAPABLE of doing this. And there are also horses who learn better on one side than the other ...just like you can throw or kick a ball, write your name, and learn other new skills better on one side of your body than the other.

When a horse walks away from you, it's because you are talking to him.

We all know that horses in a field know who "The Boss" horse is. Mostly, horses don't need to have any physical confrontation after that is sorted-out among them. The less dominant horses will not dispute it. But there will be horses in the middle of the pecking order who will not necessarily challenge the dominance of The Boss but will need constant reminders or reassurancethat The Boss IS IN FACT in control. These are the horses that will have The Boss lunge at them with ears back at feeding time, etc. and from time to time approach without a bow ...just to see if anything has changed.

Horses want nothing more than to know they are SAFE. They get this reassurance by being with other animals who can help them look for approaching danger. When we leave a horse alone without another companion animal, it does more than just get "lonely". It feels vulnerable. Horses contantly are testing the authority of the established "Boss" or "Alpha Horse". If The Boss does not let the challenging horse win the test, the other horse feels SAFER because he knows there is another horse there who is stronger and smarter them him who will be looking for danger and RUN when it is time to run. This is why The Boss horse is typically a strong-willed, nasty horse sometimes even with humans ... it needs to be srtong because it has a responsibility to the other horses it dominantes. When it gets too old or sick to win the tests by other horses, another horse will assume this role.

In the field, a horse shows its submission to another horse by MOVING FORWARD out of the path of a more dominant horse as soon as it detects that the boss it headed straight toward its rump, where the more dominant horse WILL bite it if it does NOT show its submission.

If you walk STRAIGHT TOWARD a horse, especially if your head points toward its rump, it will MOVE FORWARD.

A predator will usually aim either for a horse's loins or head. If you walk STRAIGHT toward a horse aimed at either loins or head, it will usually turn & MOVE AWAY from you.

The exception is the horse that does not submit to your dominance or fear you in any way becasue it is used to people in general and knows that it can hurt you if you bother it. In that case, it may stay and kick or bite you.

You will notice however that when one horse approaches another and makes contact at the withers to "scratch" the other horse, a friendly gesture of "hello, let's be nice" THE APPROACHING HORSE WILL HAVE DONE TWO THINGS:

#1 approached slowly & calmly, aimed & looking at the standing horse's withers. This tells the other horse that the approaching horse want to do a very friendly social gesture, dominant or not, the approaching horse wants to do mutual neck scratching. This is because it is about the only part of the horse's own body it cannot scratch by itself. Touch this part of a horse first when you meet.

#2 approached on a broad curve, weaving slightly, NOT "STRAIGHT AT" the other. Predators and other horses that intend to cause conflict go STRAIGHT AT the horse. Friendly horses always approach on a curve. Horses become stressed when they are asked to walk in straight lines because it is unnatural to them. They want to instinctively walk on a curving path. Just see for yourself the next time your horse has to walk more than 100 feet to meet you in a field. He will NOT walk straight at you and at some point it may even look like he is not coming for you.




If your horse walks away from you in the field, the above will show you what you can do differently to have more success. Approach a paddock fence with a treat of food. Watch the way the horse approaches you. It will NOT make a straight line, it will curve or weave slightly ( unless competing with other horses to get there first ) and this is the way YOU should approach a horse if you do not want it to walk away. This shows the horse you don't want it to move and that it does not need to.

When a horse approaches you, he is talking to you.

A horse that bows its head toward the ground when it approaches another is showing the other horse SUBMISSION & RESPECT and that it does not challenge its dominance. A horse that does NOT bow its head is presenting a challenge of dominance and will likely bite the other horse, rear and strike, or turn and kick. You don't want this. Horses find their pecking order with sheer physical dominance. If the horse THINKS it CAN dominate you, it will eventually SHOW YOU that it can.

A horse that does not bow its head on approach does not respect your dominance and quite simply anything you do without getting bitten or kicked was because the horse simply tollerated you doing it.
But he can quickly change his mind. A bow can mean anything from a complete bow almost with his nose touching the ground and then back up if he is in a field and approaching you at a fence ... to a quick half-dip only about 6 inches if he is in a stall and comes to the door. A horse who does not bow to you is testing you to see who is the boss. If he wins, you loose. Don't handle a horse who does not bow upon approaching you. Push or chase it away until it is ready to return with a bow of respect.

Watch for a bow when any horse approaches you. If you don't see it, push itaway. When it returns, it will bow its head. This is in fact how horses talk to each other and establish their rank in the herd. If a less dominant horse approaches more dominant horse without bowing, the dominant horse WILL bite at or strike at the less dominant horse.

All asian and many other ancient cultures bow to each other to show respect. Somewhere in our evolution before we could speak with a known language, we probably communicated respect in the same way as horses, bowing to the dominant figures in our society.



When a horse passes manure or gas, he is talking to you.

When beginning each work session with a horse, whether riding, round-penning, jogging, etc., the horse will be somewhat stressed. Especially if the horse is rather new to the activity, he will be trying to figure out why he is being asked to do things and whether or not it might be a threat to him. he is worried. It takes any horse a few minutes to relax and begin to concentrate. You can tell when the horse is ready to focus on what you want when it passes gas and/or manure. Before this happens, the horse is not ready to learn anything new. Wait for it. A horse must be relaxed to do the things you want it to do. Watch for it!

Just before or just after he does this, you will also notice that he will shake his head and neck and maybe even blow from his nostrils ( it sounds like a sneeze ). This is the way the horse relieves the stressed muscles that were tightened and bracing to RUN prior to relaxing. It may happen several times during stressful training if your commands and cues to him are not clear and consistent. If you hear this alot, you may be confusing him.   Listen for it!

You may have seen people gently whistle at a horse to make it pass urine. Most don't know why this works. Horses originally came from Africa where, like their Zebra relatives, they were prey to Lions, Tigers, and other predators. When a horse gets scared, it will instinctively want to run about 1/4 mile ... which is just out of range of a Lion charge.

For survival, the horse has learned to be aware of its environment. When it detects a motion or a sound which could be a possible sign of danger ... even if the sign is just a few feet away ...it lifts its head high to see far on the horizon and to keep the neck up and out of reach of a predator. Horses use the sound of singing birds as a sign of "All is Well". When birds stop singing, horses become nervous. When birds take off and fly away, horses instinctively want to RUN, because their instincts tell them the birds are flying away from an approaching predator. ( This is why your horse might freak-out if it sees a bird take off, or a paper or plastic bag fly through the air. Even crinkling plastic can simulate the frequency range of a flock of birds flapping their wings or the leaves of trees rustling from the same or a predator coming out of the bush causing the same sound.

If you crinlkle a plastic bag near your horse. His head will come up, eyes will widen and ears will start moving! ). When birds are singing, the horse is perfectly relaxed. You can bring a horse into a state of relaxation by simulating the birds by whistling. I don't know about you ... but a horse needs to be relaxed to pass urine. Again, this is primal instinct, and there is nothing the horse can do to overcome how he feels when your crinkle plastic suddenly or whistle gently for a while.

When a horse eats his own manure, he is talking to you.

A foal needs to eat small amounts of his mother's fresh manure. In foals it is normal behavior that helps get the foal's digestive system ready to deal with solid food by lining the intestines with the bacteria and flora needed to break it down. This normal and necessary behavior usually ceases by the time the foal is five months of age. A foal is telling you he's healthy if he eats manure. If he does not eat manure in the first 2-3 months, he is telling you there is something wrong or that you are not giving him access to his dam's manure. He needs it, so don't clean it up until he gets a chance to eat it. It will make him a strong, healthy horse.

When a horse more than a year old eats its own manure OR THE MANURE OF OTHER HORSES it may be telling you that there is a Protein, Calcium, Salt, Orthophosphorus, Potassium or Sulfur deficiency, or that their gut has a bacterial/flora problem, or simply that it is stressed, lonely or bored or stressed if it does not have a companion animal.

A mineralized "horse salt" block may be all that is needed to solve the problem. If a horse has been ill, and antibiotics have been used to rid the horse of persistent infection, the drugs may have killed off the beneficial intestinal bacteria as well as the bad. (The good bacteria, present in the gut of all horses, help prevent invasion by harmful bacteria or fungi. In addition, they help the horse gain the nourishment from his food.) Eating manure may help the horse replenish the good bacteria. Another way to get your horse's natural intestinal fauna replenished is to feed a "probiotic." Probiotics are a source of live, naturally occurring microorganisms.

If health and diet are okay, then sheer boredom may be the cause of manure eating. Horses were made to forage for food with their lips and front teeth. The instict to do this action is akin to a cat's desire to scratch things to keep its claws sharp. The animal NEEDS TO quell this instictive desire. In a dry paddock or stall with no grass to keep it busy, a horse will tend to use its mouth on manure. Feeding in the morning and then at night is not satisfactory if the horse must go for hours in between with nothing to do. Some manure eating is also caused by the same thing as WOOD CHEWING.

When a horse chews wood, he is talking to you.

A horse's teeth continuously "erupt" ( they keep "growing" ). The front teeth erupt or "grow" faster because the horse is DESIGNED TO ROAM AND EAT GRASS ALL THE TIME THAT IT IS AWAKE. In the wild, a horses front teeth wear down naturally while it forages grass.



Try a hay net on a wall to keep the horse's mouth busy. but if this does not STOP the problem right away, you may also see the horse BATTING his hay in the air to knock the husk loose in this case, or hear the front teeth SQUEAKING when he chews, or the horse may be loosing weight. If your horse's manure has UNCRACKED grains, the horse's back teeth are not coming together properly to grind food (MALOCLUSION) and his teeth need to be floated IMMEDIATELY.

If this does not stop the wood chewing, the horse may be seeking essential vitamins, micro and macro minerals, and fatty acids and be willing to chew anything that it can in the hopes that it can obtain what it is missing.

Did you ever wonder how indians rode bareback whithout a bridle?

Horses cannot speak to give clear directions that can be understood by each other. So they communicate PHYSICALLY. On any foal not yet trained to respond to HUMAN-MADE commands, there are "buttons" where the dam will nudge to get the foal where she wants it. There are three buttons per side. The first is just behind the front legs. When touched, it tells the horse to move TOWARD the direction of pressure. The second is just behing the first, closer to the tail. This "button" tells the horse to move forward". It is a reaction not unlike when the doctor hits your knee with the rubber hammer to test your reflexes and it makes your leg "kick".

This button is about the first place a newborn foal's mother will touch it, trying to get it to its feet quickly, instictively before the herd gets too far away. If the foal does not rise in a short period of time, the mother will abandon it. So ... this button NEEDS TO work!



The third "button" is behind the other two, even closer to the tail. This "button" tells the horse to move AWAY from the pressure. The indians figured this out long, long ago, and were able to use their feet to steer their horses. A nudge on the withers makes the foal stop. ( in the absence of training to the contrary ). Watch a dam & foal for a few hours sometime. See for yourself, now that you know.

Horse Hay should contain over 50% TDN, 0.7% calcium and 0.2% phosphorus. NEVER NEVER NEVER should it contain CLOVER. Cow hay uses many clovers. Certain kinds of Clover will kill a horse over time with liver & kidney damage.

An old cowboy trick:
When your horse is OFF HIS FEED due to illness or other issue, rub a cove of garlic around the feed tub before filling it then quickly rub it near his nose. This may stimulate his apetite.

The History of Master Horsemen

No other animal stirs such a range of emotional reactions as a horse. It is not difficult to imagine the impact of mounted soldiers on peoples who had never before even seen a horse, let alone a man seated on top! Throughout the first millennium, and a good deal of the second, the Horse was regarded by many as a mystical animal. Clearly, such was the power of the horse that a man able to harness it to his will rose above the level of the ordinary man.

The names of certain horses, like Alexander The Great’s Bucephalus, or Incitatus, ridden by Caligula’s Equine Roman senator and Phar Lap have achieved lasting historical fame, while others, such as El Morzillo - mount to Hernando Cortes during his 1525 campaign to conquer Mexico - came to be regarded as Gods. Those who could control horses, like the Egyptians, they could rule the world.

Kikkuli: The first Assusani horsemaster around 1345 BC., wrote a training regime to get warhorses superbly fit, As a result of his method, the Hittites became a mighty empire rivalling Egypt. The Assusani became like dominant horses to gain the trust and co-operation of the other horses, to make them willing servants, yet no slaves. Imagine being in the first army that faced the Hittites army who were mounted on horseback.

Xenophon: The Father of Classical Equitation
A Greek named Xenophon (430-ca 335 B.C.) wrote the first fully preserved manual on the riding horse. It is entitled "The Art of Horsemanship." Xenophon differs from other ancient writers on the horse in that he urges his reader to know the horse's psychology. He knew that an animal which had confidence in the understanding and good will of its rider would more effectively respond to the commands of the rider.

And to those who lacked the skills, and were in awe of the ability to control such power, such horsemen could all too easily be believed to have mystical knowledge.

For many, 'mystical knowledge' suggested use of the arts of sorcery and witchcraft, and it is not surprising that some particularly skilful trainers were burned as witches. In fact it was not only the trainer who was at risk. In the case of a horse called Mauroco who performed in the French town of Arles in the 17th century, the horse was burned along with the trainer!

It is no wonder then that those who were skillful also became somewhat tight-lipped about their work, and often chose to do it in a place that was safe from prying eyes. So, we have mysticism, secrecy and silence - all the required ingredients for the creation of a myth!

Once the practice of burning witches had finished, showman practitioners began to flourish.

John Solomon Rarey was one of the nineteenth century horse masters. Originally from Groveport, Ohio, Word of his gift spread and in 1858 he was summoned to Windsor Castle in England to calm a horse of Queen Victoria. The Queen and her entourage watched astonished as Rarey put his hands on the animal and laid it down on the ground before them. Then he lay down beside it and rested his head on its hooves. The queen chuckled with delight and gave Rarey a hundred pounds sterling. He was a modest, quiet man, but now he was famous and the press wanted more. The call went out to find the most ferocious horse in all England. The horse they found was Cruiser, a horse kept for breeding but said to be the fiercest horse ever seen.

Against all advice, Rarey let himself into the stable where no one else dared venture and shut the door. He emerged three hours later leading Cruiser, without his muzzle and gentle as a lamb. The owners were so impressed they gave him the horse. Rarey brought him back to Ohio, where Cruiser died on July 6, 1875, outliving his new master by a full nine years.

The aura of mystery remained, but this could now be turned towards attracting a crowd and, along with the crowd - their money!

One such man was Dan Sullivan from Mallow in County Cork , Ireland . The story goes that Dan would take a previously unmanageable horse and, by whispering a few words into its ear, make it docile and well-behaved. Apparently Dan had learned this secret from a penniless soldier in a public house, who had been taught it himself by a mystic in India where he had served. The soldier gave Dan the secret for the price of a meal, and "The Whisperer" was on his way. But there was obviously more to it than just whispering a few words. Dan's method involved taking the horse into the secrecy of a barn or shed from which the horse would emerge, completely subdued. On what took place in the barn, Dan never told.

Whatever the truth was, the hollywood term 'horse whisperer' had arrived. However in all cases in the past we can assume that some form of brute-force or pain was used to make the horse submit as a slave to these masters. This will never make a horse want to give its heart and soul to you.



Beauty without vanity.
Nobility without conceit.
Friendship without envy.
A willing servant, yet no slave.